So You Accidentally Time Traveled to Ancient Rome

A Survival Guide to Basic Latin (By Liam, Obviously)

Okay. First of all, if you are reading this because Aria opened another portal without checking coordinates, welcome. You are probably in ancient Rome. Do not panic. Just follow this guide and try not to insult a senator.

Romans speak Latin. It sounds impressive, slightly dramatic, and very useful if you do not want to look like a confused barbarian.

Here are the basics you need to survive.

Step One: Learn How to Say Hello Without Starting a War

Romans did not say “hey” or “what’s up.” That would get you strange looks.

Instead, try:

• Salve = Hello (to one person)
• Salvete = Hello (to more than one person)

If someone greets you first, just repeat it confidently. Confidence is everything. Even if your pronunciation is slightly wobbly.

If you want to be polite when leaving, say:

• Vale = Goodbye (to one person)
• Valete = Goodbye (to more than one person)

Congratulations. You are now socially functional.

Step Two: Very Important Survival Words

If you are lost, hungry, or about to be chased by a goat, these will help.

• Aqua = Water
• Panis = Bread
• Via = Road
• Domus = House
• Amicus = Friend
• Non = No
• Ita = Yes

If you are extremely confused, you can say:

• Non intellego = I do not understand

I recommend using this often, especially during political speeches.

Step Three: Numbers So You Do Not Get Scammed

Romans love counting money in coins called denarii. If you cannot count, you will absolutely overpay for olives.

Here are the basics:

• Unus = One
• Duo = Two
• Tres = Three
• Quattuor = Four
• Decem = Ten

If someone says a number very fast while staring at you expectantly, nod slowly and pretend you are calculating taxes.

Step Four: The Romans Love Drama

Latin sentences often put the verb at the end. For example: Puella aquam portat = The girl carries water.

Literally it sounds like: “Girl water carries.”

Romans enjoy suspense, apparently.

You do not need to master grammar to survive. Just learn key words and smile confidently.

Step Five: Important Phrases to Avoid Trouble

If you accidentally bump into a soldier, try: Ignosce mihi = Forgive me

If someone looks angry and you want to avoid becoming part of a gladiator practice session, try: Pax = Peace

And if Aria insists on asking a priest complicated historical questions in the middle of a temple ceremony, quietly whisper: Festina lente = Hurry slowly

It means take your time, but carefully. Very good advice for time travel.

Step Six: Gods, Just in Case

Romans take religion seriously. If lightning strikes, it is probably wise to mention Jupiter respectfully. If you are near soldiers, mentioning Mars with admiration is usually safe.

When in doubt, look impressed by temples.

Final Survival Advice

1. Do not mention modern inventions.
2. Do not challenge anyone to a duel.
3. Do not gamble unless you actually understand the rules.
4. Memorize “Non intellego” and use it strategically.

Latin might sound intimidating, but once you learn a few key words, you can survive markets, temples, and possibly even the Senate.

And if everything goes wrong, find Aria. She is probably explaining Roman infrastructure to someone important while I am negotiating for bread using extremely confident hand gestures.

Salvete, adventurers. Try not to change the timeline.